I can't.... Seriously.
I tried my hardest to stay away from this whole Tiger Woods drama, an ignored the fact that in the last few days a new mistress has appeared more frequently than Beyonce changed her wig. Last time I checked, I think we were on Mistress #3? Comeon Son! Can't a man do hoe shit in peace? I mean really... who else is gonna lick his balls at night? Personally, instead of hating on the side chick, I would have her at the crib doing the fluff and fold (More Downy bitch, I want softness in my laundry!) instead of waisting my time.
But I digress..
Way any, I was all for my boycott, until I accidentally saw the youtube of the message Tiger left on his mistresses voicemail. *Somewhere, in a far off land of little people with Good Perms, Katt Williams is yelling "PIMP DOWN" at this very moment. * Tiger is recorded "asking" his mistress to pleassssssseeee take her name off her voicemail because his wife is gonna call her... Has Tiger never seen The Color Purple?
Harpo will soon be giving classes at the learning annex entitled "How to slap a bitch wid yo' strong hand - just don't drink the water". As you watch the following youtube and feel Tiger lose his manhood at a speed of 0 to 60 in under a min, please be reminded of Celebrity Sidechick Rule #1- Always cheat with a bitch who has more to lose than you do. (Insert sad Kanye West face right here) :)
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