The Good Stuff Kids Grow On- "Big Booty B*&^hes"

I blame @MikeMillz_TN for destroying all that is right in the world by showing me this video.
But with 10,000,000 + hits, I had no choice to watch it and see what was going on.

That was the beginning of the end.

I couldn't decide whether twiddle dumb in the church outfit was catching the holy spirit at the thought of "Big Booty Bitches", or if he was doing a crack shimmy, but needless to say the shit is entertaining. Somewhere, in a far off land, thanks to this song a future video hoe is being granted her necessary silicone injections.

There is a God.

Norie's News: Pimp Down- Buju Banton Convicted of Drug Charges

As per information swarming around the Internet, and BBM blasts if you, like I, have forgotten to delete all the Jamaican's off your BBM (note to self, get to that tomorrow), you would know that one of our favorite Reggae artists of all time, Buju Banton was convicted yesterday on Drug charges.

Guess he will be performing "Driver A" at a local fed pen near you?

Why can't the U.S. get on a plan like Jamaica had with Ja Cure and have these inmates working for their keep? Ja Cure literally had to sing for his supper- Imagine if we could have a concert series for all our jailed Artists. We could call it the Cell Block All-Stars! Staring Buju Banton, TI, and we could have all the PO officers who are really aspiring rappers open up, with a special intro by Lil Wayne, who just missed the line up by a few months, but could easily get caught on one of his many probation violations and join the line up. If we expand our criteria to rehab and probation, we can have the whole industry on this damn bill...

 Way any, back to the sentence at hand.. heard there were more crying Jamaicans in the court room then the time all the hair stores on the island ran out of the shiny weave and smedium skinny jeans at the same time..    All jokes aside, we tolerate love us some Jamaicans, and Buju is a legend that will always be in our prayers. #FREEBUJU! As taken from Allhiphop.com:


"A federal jury deliberated for 11 hours during Buju Banton's retrial for his role in setting up a sale of five kilos of cocaine to an undercover officer in a Miami warehouse during an undercover operation by the DEA.

The singer was caught on videotape testing cocaine in a Sarasota warehouse in December of 2008, although he wasn't present during the actual drug deal, which took place two-days later. 

According to the Associated Press, Buju, 37, was found guilty of three of the four charges and now faces at least 15 years in prison, when he is sentenced. 

The popular singer, who's album Before the Dawn just won a Grammy Award, is already planning an appeal of the conviction. 

His lawyer, David Markus, claims that the reggae singer was a big talker who wasn't involved in the drug deal. 

Ironically, the confidential informant who audiotaped and videotaped Buju during the alleged drug deal, earned a $50,000 commission for his role in the undercover sting conducted by the DEA.

Buju is expected to make bond until his sentencing date, which has not been scheduled."
Below are some of our all time favorites from the man himself.  Enjoy! Keep a look out as I post some of my footage from the Epic Before the Dawn fundraising concert in Miami.

Norie-Tube : Bounty Killer & Elephant Man Video Spoof

Sitting here getting ready for Anything Goes- Caribbean Edition on Power 105.1Fm tonight, and I happened to come across this video from one of my favorite show. Make sure you get to the 3 minute mark and watch  to see the remake of their video. *Smh*.. made me go watch the real video again and laugh even harder cause this is ridiculous!

When Hoe Shit Fails: Reggie Bush's Jumpoff...umm..I mean "Homegirl"

Aight, so yall all know where I stand on the whole subject of a man's jumpoff. Can't a man do hoe shit in private? I mean really, what has the world come to these days? *smh*

Way any, in a world of Jump-off's gone wrong, somewhere on this list of females not to fuck with, we now add Reggie Bush's Carmen to the list. Is there no automatic understanding that as my featured sperm catcher, this is done private? I keep telling you dudes stop messing with these girls who have more to gain then lose by licking your balls. Shesh.

Way any, Carmen took the art of being a jumpoff to a whole nother level when she gave the MTV cribs- jumpoff edition tour in Reggie's home and purposely accidentally release it right before the superbowl. Does this girl have an album dropping? Has she been hanging out with Rihanna and her people? Cause this shit right here is totally a Rih-Rih approved move.

Does anyone speak fluent gold-digger? Cause this shit right, the statement she released to the public, dont make no sense... Please see my commentary in Bold print..

"Earlier this week, a video surfaced on the web, showing me on a private tour of New Orleans Saints player, Reggie Bush’s home. The published blog posts about the video have painted me as everything from a “thirsty ho,” to “jump off” to “escort.” These names aren’t insulting, for they’re not true. (I would have used trashbag, STD breeding ground, and maybe teabagger, but thats just me)

As you all know by now, Reggie and I had a brief short lived relationship (??? Is that what they call it when I empty my prostate on your face for a few weeks?) almost one year ago. During that time, we both were in serious relationships with other people, but we had an “understanding.” Unfortunately, things hit the fan when Reggie’s girlfriend, Kim Kardashian, found out about our secret relationship. She immediately ran to the Internet to throw me under the bus. ( I would have hit you with a bus, but thats just me. Call me Reggie, I know a dude...) When this happened, Reggie and I went our separate ways. During our brief relationship, Reggie became a dear and valued friend to me. The negativity surrounding that situation made it extremely difficult for me to move on.

However, I did.

I want to use this column, for Honey, as an opportunity to express how deeply hurt and betrayed I feel. I am shocked and disappointed to see that on the eve of Reggie’s biggest day, his team’s Super Bowl win, the private video I took months ago had surfaced. I believe it was leaked by a former trusted friend and colleague, ( Gold digger terminology for your hairdresser) for his personal gain.  It wasn’t my intention for that video to hit the net or distract Reggie from his amazing day. (Sure you didn't, it was your last resort when they wouldn't buy your sex tape, and the preggo stick kept saying negative) I made that video to let the “nay-sayers” know that I did have proof that he and I were in a relationship (because you could have broke in like the other stalker do?). Unfortunately drama continues to follow, but I have moved on from that experience – and still am.

This too shall pass. (What, no mention of giving your life to god? Has Superhead taught you nothing?)

For those of you who never saw the video in question, here it is..

WTF?? Lil Wayne's sentencing postponed due to Dental Work?? His Goodbye Video and More..

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY DOSENT BCAT HAVE LIVE COVERAGE OF THIS?? *SMH*

Maybe the gremblin really does have super powers...Or could it be that the latest rumors of his new uterus Shenelle being occupied is really true, and together they have created the last hope for music as we know it so the gods are giving him a second chance?


Umm... *blink* 


*blank stare*


Let this be a lesson to all that fronts really do serve a purpose, and dreams really do come true
( I almost had a straight face when I typed that). Yeah well whatever the case, this was taken from BBC News just 8 hours ago.. Scroll all the way to the bottom to see the goodbye video he posted on his blog on Wednesday. 

Rapper Lil Wayne's sentencing for possessing a gun has been postponed to allow him to have dental surgery.

The star - real name Dwayne Carter - was unable to undergo the work beforehand as his dentist had been out of the country, his lawyer said.

He is scheduled to return to the New York State Supreme Court on 2 March.

In December, he pleaded guilty to charges arising from a 2007 arrest when a gun was found on his tour bus after a concert in Manhattan.

Top-selling album

The rapper did not say anything in court.

Manhattan assistant district attorney Joan Illuzzi-Orbon did not argue about the delay in sentencing saying she had spoken with the dentist.

The sentencing comes at the peak of the rapper's career.

Following his performance at the Grammy Awards on 31 January, his latest album, Rebirth, was released and became the top-selling album on download service iTunes in the US last week.

The star recently told Rolling Stone magazine he considered jail "an experience that I need to have if God's putting me through it".

The rapper posted an online video hours before his court appearance asking fans not to forget about him.

Meanwhile, Mr Carter is also due in court at the end of March on separate felony drug possession and weapons charges in Arizona.

That case stems from an arrest in 2008 when authorities said they found cocaine, ecstasy and a handgun on his tour bus. 

 Authorities found no syrup on the bus? This is surely a set up!! 

(Cheers to you too Wayne)

Way any, here is the Ustream video of what was thought to be Lil' Wayne's last night in the studio. Check the last marker on the time bar to skip to Lil' Wayne's heart felt goodbye to all his fans. If it wasnt for the fact that I am convinced that it was drug induced, I would have almost, I do emphasize ALMOST, shed a tear. Ok, maybe not. 

When Hoe Shit Fails.. Robbie of "City High" On Intervention

So as an avid believer of all that is fuckery, Im always one for a good story about how Hoe shit affects the lives of others. Imagine my surprise when flipping threw the channels to watch intervention ( I can never get enough of other people's problems) I come across Robbie from "City High"..

I'll give you a moment...

okay, don't feel bad cause I didn't remember either at first. Here's a video to jog your memory...




Way any, apparently Robbie and lead female of the group Claudette Ortiz (yes, she is 5'5 with brown eyes) were together, and the group broke up when she left him to be with the other member Ryan, who were later married. Robbie returned home to his momma's basement and a bottle of gin, giving tv yet another chance to show the world what black woman's pussy can do to you. Without further ado, I present to you Intervention.  And no, Gary Coleman will not show up. Not in this episode at least.

Fuck Effort: Jersey Shore

Morning! Should you feel like your having a bad day, just remember your day could be worse. You could be her:



Okay, okay.. soo I tried to stay away from it, but after reading the various reports of advertisers pulling sponsorship due to the domestic violence scene, I just spent the last hour watching responses to the Jersey Shore fiasco.. aint it great when it aint the black folks they are mad at? Lmao..

Way any, here is my favorite response to the Jersey Shore show.. Enjoy!

When Hoe Shit Fails- Tiger Woods on Vanity Fair

*Blink*

*Blink*

*Blank Stare*

Im convinced that Tiger's Wife had something to do with this cover... has that man not had enough?? I mean really!! *SMH*

Dear Tiger,

instead of working on your swing you should had been working on your pimp hand, cause look where your bitches done got you now. Poster boy for EPIC FAIL *insert sad smiley face right here* .

Please feel free to laugh, and then reconsider your hoes.

EPIC FAIL: Is Tiger Woods Really Kim's "Big Poppa"??

For those of you who watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta", in light of Tiger Wood's hoe shit counter up to 9 (gotta keep checking), I am now forced to wonder if he's linked to everyone's favorite mistress, Kim. I mean, comeon... "Big Poppa"?

Way any, here's a clip of Kim performing Tardy for the party on the Ellen show.. did I forget to mention that Ellen cut it out, but had to post it on her website? Ellen? how could you? Blond hair, big boobs and no talent is what this industry is built on! *smh* FUCK EFFORT! Ellen, Tiger.. umm.. I mean "Big Poppa's" people will be calling you soon..

When Hoe Shit Fails- Tiger Woods *sigh*

I can't.... Seriously.

I tried my hardest to stay away from this whole Tiger Woods drama, an ignored the fact that in the last few days a new mistress has appeared more frequently than Beyonce changed her wig. Last time I checked, I think we were on Mistress #3? Comeon Son! Can't a man do hoe shit in peace? I mean really... who else is gonna lick his balls at night? Personally, instead of hating on the side chick, I would have her at the crib doing the fluff and fold (More Downy bitch, I want softness in my laundry!) instead of waisting my time.

But I digress..

Way any, I was all for my boycott, until I accidentally saw the youtube of the message Tiger left on his mistresses voicemail. *Somewhere, in a far off land of little people with Good Perms, Katt Williams is yelling "PIMP DOWN" at this very moment. * Tiger is recorded "asking" his mistress to pleassssssseeee take her name off her voicemail because his wife is gonna call her... Has Tiger never seen The Color Purple?

Harpo will soon be giving classes at the learning annex entitled "How to slap a bitch wid yo' strong hand - just don't drink the water".  As you watch the following youtube and feel Tiger lose his manhood at a speed of 0 to 60 in under a min, please be reminded of  Celebrity Sidechick Rule #1- Always cheat with a bitch who has more to lose than you do. (Insert sad Kanye West face right here) :)

EPIC FAIL: TOP 5 JOBS RIHANNA CAN GET IF HER ALBUM DOSENT SELL..

So Rihanna's album did 181,000 its first week, which sucks ass big time for an artist who is charging 500,000 (yes, its U.S. dollars) to perform for New Years Eve. Sitting here going over her soundscan, it popped in my mind, what would she do if her Label dropped her?? Here is my list of the top 5 jobs that Rihanna could do:

5. McDonald's

I mean after all, they are ALWAYS hiring.. right? Rihanna, just remember that it's service with a smile, not a bad attitude, no matter how nice your accent is. And yes, *sigh*, if Chris ever comes in your location, feel free to hide behind the deep fry until he is gone.

4. Dominatrix

Keeping with this whole "edgy" thing your going with, Im sure you already have the the outfits in your closet. Word of advice though, leave the barb-wire home... *ouch*

3. Phone Girl at the CatHouse

"... Allo? Welcome to the CatHouse.. dis is Rihanna, wa ya want?...." Perfect fit if I do say so myself..

2. Pet Food Taster

After all that madness you talked on your 20/20 interview, you mouth must taste like crap. Im sure Dog food dosent taste any worse. Beefy flavor anyone?

And the top Job that Rihanna could get if she get's dropped by her label:

*drumroll please*

1. Beyonce's Wig Carrier

I know, I know, but Mama Tina was whispering in my ear about this. Look on the bright side.. Jay would have easier access, and you could request a golden brush.. Maybe, just maybe if you behave, Beyonce would even let you sit at the big people's table during family get togethers. Just dont be suprised if Cousin Angie spits in your water. *sigh*

Norie Tube- Just for laughs: Would you wine for me?

So Ive been watching this World Star Hip-Hop Clip all afternoon, and its just as funny each time I watch it.. Poor Girl..

All the Fuckery- Stanky Leg Baby

On behalf of the future strippers leauge of America, I present to your their latest recruit.. "Stank Leg Baby".

Dear BET, I am not happy.

See what happens when you forget to monitor your damn fuckery? (Unless this is Frankie's baby and Keisha Coles sister, then it all makes sense..)

Survey says...

EPIC FAIL

NorieTube- Cheating Puppets

Lmao..



This is a "business transaction"... I'm soo gonna use that one..

All The Fuckery: Beyonce and Rihanna- Celebrity Therapy

Something to make you smile on Monday morning- While Putting some video up on youtube, I came across this funny ass spoof of Beyonce and Rihanna- they sound just like the real thing. Make sure you pee before watching this video cause your sure to piss yourself if not...




All I have to say is.. cause I love Chris Brown!! LMAO!!!

All the Fuckery- Obnixious T-shirts

After getting a crazy response to the T-shirt in the last posting, I decided to search the internet for some more obnixious, offensive t-shirts. Here are some of my favorites- view at your own risk.

The throat part.

Wonder if it comes with the girl?

oh my.

And the smell (in some cases).

And on your face.

Tossed Salad anyone? No?

Damn.

Or your nose.

Very Special.

Does she wonder why she's single?

Me too.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Pepper spray.

Just add water and it's instant.

I just need one finger.

Tea-Bag!

I never would have guessed it.

You knew what you were getting into. Actually, what was getting into u.

I love the spin cycle.

Like Start them.

Cmon, its funny.

Sold in Chinese Food Stores everywhere.

Not counting what she swallowed.

Damn that multiple choice.

Redbull gives you wings.

Is there any other way?

Lmao.

Time for a strip search?

sure you do.

T-shirt says it all.

No teeth necessary.

All the Fuckery- Robbed Couple forces Burgular to clean up mess at gun-point??

Taken from Crunktastical.net, this story is sponsored by the following t-shirt:

Cause somehow, it all makes sense.

Montgomery, Alabama. Home of the Civil Rights Movement, the Rosa Parks victory, the late great Nat King Cole, and two muthafuckin G’s named Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon. Who you ask? Please allow me to elaborate.

Adrian and Tiffany McKinnon are a nice, brutiful, hard-working married couple who one day decided to take a well-deserved vacation. Little did they know that upon their return home, they would be greeted by a ransacked house, which was the result of a nasty break-in.

When the McKinnons realized they’d been robbed, Adrian sent a teary-eyed Tiffany off to her sister’s house so he could sift through the messy piles that the burglar had left behind. As he entered the sunroom to assess the damage there, BAM! Adrian ran smack dab into Tajuan Bullock (no kin to Annie Mae), the culprit of all this madness. To add insult to injury, the fucker was twerkin with the slow bop (c) Reginae Carter through Adrian’s crib wearing one of his hats, and even had it stylishly cocked to the right. And here, my friends, is where the shit went left.

Adrian wasn’t gon just let Tajuan come and punk him ha. Stunt and front him ha. Straight up run him ha. Nah man. Instead he pulled a gun on Tajuan’s ass and told him to humble his mu’fuckin self down cuz he was NOT about to be scothered with this bullshit (c) Kyle. That’s when Tajuan knew it was gon be trooouble, trooouble. So he quickly set his ass down somewhere and bowed his head in prayer.

Adrian called Tiffany so she could come back home and witness this monkey show firsthand. When she arrived, the McKinnons didn’t beat Tajuan down like Mister did Celie. Nor did they rape him like Kenneth did Bullseye the horse. Nor did they kill him like Nino did Gee Money. What did they do you ask? They sent Tajuan’s triflin ass through every single room of their house, at gunpoint no less, and made him clean up all the shit he’d wrecked. YAS folks! The McKinnons put this fool to work! And they did not call the police until after he’d finished folding every piece of clothing he’d tossed and restocking every single cabinet he’d raided.
My favorite part of the story? When a salty Tajuan went cryin to the police, told rhem the McKinnons forced him to straighten up the mess he’d made at gunpoint. The police just laughed at his goofy ass and told him he was lucky they didn’t kill him.

Bottom Damn Line: Fuck stealin shit for fun. For you may just end up being confronted by a gun, forced to clean up the damage done and return the shit you thought you won.

All the Fuckery- Who's Gonna Hunt Chris Brown tonight?

I can't.
I won't.
I refuse, and yet, I can't not look..

Shout out to Crunktastical for this funny ass youtube spoof of "Run this town".. I nearly died laughing when I saw this myself.. *sigh*

All the Fuckery: Kanye at The VMA's- are we sure he ain't Jamaican?

Okay, So I was really attempting to not even validate Kanye's behavior at the vma's, but when I recieved these pics in my inbox from a reader, I had absolutely no choice but to discuss because you know I am a card carrying member of the "Pro-Fuckery" club.

Enter exhibit A- while Amber may be a tad bit enticing in this picture, please do not miss the star of the photo- The henny bottle in Kanye's hands BEFORE the event. This is one of those moments when you see the neighborhood crackhead approaching and you shake your head because you just know that no good is gonna come from this. Never fear Kanye, I too would drink if I realised that the bitch that I made hot was becoming hotter than me... haha! No I wouldn't, I'd just up my commision and make her my bitch both literally and figuratively. Enter the Kanye and Amber sex tape in 5..4..3..

Fade to black, and enter Diddy. I mean what event would be complete without a Diddy sighting? This time, he was escorted by the two members of his new "group" Dirty Money.. who shall forever be known as Dirty Panties from this point on. Has a nice ring to it, no? Bet that name will make them sell millions cause their talents sure wont!


And of course, where there is Diddy, there is his resident ball licker Cassie.. okay, okay, she dosent lick balls.. cause only swallowing can get you picture privillages.. why do you think we never see kim?

Somewhere, under this get-up giving me "hanibal lector" fever, is lady gaga. Take a minute to absord all the crazy.. but please, if you find yourself starting to like the outfit, save yourself and look away from the screen.


So.. Joe.... umm.. your date looks.. very..... intelligent. (I couldn't even type that with a straight face). Feels kinda disrespectful that your son died and your smiling it up on the red carpet.. that is, unless due to Michael's untimely death and cut off of your funds you had to resort back to your previous hustle... in that case, pimp on my dude.


And for those of you who happened to miss Kanye's outburst, here is a snippet of yet another one of his shining moments. Aww what the fuck.. go find it yourself..